Moving On/Out/Away

After three years of working in retail hell, I've finally landed a job that doesn't require me to deal with hundreds of people per day in a messy, chaotic environment. Most of my interactions with the public will be limited to the phone instead, and probably won't compel me to keep at least two bottles of hand sanitizer within reach at all times. It's a major change for the better, and I can't help but be just as terrified as I am excited to leave. The promise of working alongside one of my best friends offers some solace from the fear that this wonderful development is nothing more than a cruel joke, but one key question still remains     what if I'm just not good enough? Not clever enough? Not 'normal' enough?

All right, three questions. Still..

With one more day left at my old job, I find myself wondering what it'll be like to start from scratch in a new place again. My earliest experiences in retail were very uncomfortable, to the point of  making me feel like an awkward and unwelcome outsider. The only positive thing I can really draw from working there was the unexpected benefit of learning how to deal with the general public, as well as getting some sort of exposure therapy in the process. I'm not as socially anxious as I once was and I'm gradually learning how to connect with people on something deeper than a superficial level.

This new job represents more than just better pay and a better environment, though. So much hinges on having the means to support myself, not only financially but also emotionally. This is the first big step in the right direction, towards having a life that isn't overwhelming at every turn.