Continuum

Looking back upon the last few months, there has been one constant over that course of time; depression is a never-ending, continuous presence that varies in intensity but has yet to actually lift. There may be bright spots here and there, but even with the massive overhaul my life has been going through it's still always in the back of my mind. It's always ready to surface at any moment with even the slightest provocation, and although it may come across as naive, I truly believed a better job and moving out were going to make a bigger difference than they have. I'm told I've improved by the few people that truly know who I am on the inside, but from my perspective it just doesn't feel that way.

Stress has been the biggest trigger, unsurprisingly. Workplace stress and the feeling of being scrutinized for every minor thing have exacerbated the problem to the point that I wake up angry, full of unexplained rage before I've even left my apartment. My worst habits are trying their hardest to come back and are succeeding.