Being intensely interested in psychology as a future career path lends a unique point of view when it comes to having depression, rather than being the one treating someone else with depression. It's easy to come to a conclusion and suddenly think 'Oh god, am I bipolar? Narcissistic? Autistic?' At one point I thought I had been all of those, and it was only with thorough research and therapy that I realized it wasn't the least bit true. Self-hatred and paranoia probably led me to believe it, because I do tend to assume the worst and constantly feel as though there's something horribly wrong with me.
I've also learned over the last ten months that being diagnosed with any kind of mental disorder doesn't automatically mean anyone's a bad person, or weak, or that they don't have their shit together. It varies, and knowing that makes getting out of a depressive rut seem a little bit easier because I know it doesn't define who I am. My circumstances and childhood influences may have fucked me up, but who I am isn't fucked up.
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