I wasn't always an outwardly angry person. Rather than the explosive reactions I've been displaying lately, I always turned the anger inwards to avoid making anyone else feel uncomfortable. For the majority of my life I felt as though it wasn't my place to express that anger even if I had a right to do so. I had no idea how unhealthy and self destructive this actually was, since it was the only coping mechanism I'd ever known.
However, feeling inappropriately angry is an entirely new thing. It's surreal to be so acutely aware that it really is inappropriate and unhealthy, rather than having a perspective so distorted by low self-esteem that I usually believe everything I do is a mistake.
This newfound awareness is helping me learn what appropriate anger feels like in comparison, at least. For example, getting uncontrollably angry at crowds of people for being in my way, for standing exactly in the middle of the sidewalk, or for seeming unaware of how to walk properly: inappropriate. This is what living in a city is always like, I should be used to it. I know I shouldn't want to punch a man for exiting a building and then promptly standing directly in my path. I probably shouldn't have also yelled 'excuse me, asshole' at him, but it happened as if it was an uncontrollable instinct.
On the other hand, being angry about growing up in a hoarder's house with leaks in the roof so big the rain pours in: entirely appropriate. There's a stark contrast between these two types of anger, and I've finally learned how to recognize it; one is uncontrollable, the other is motivating.
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